Resignation from GF's Post...

To,
My Boyfriend (Ex From Today),
Head of Jerks,
Middle of Hell


                                    Sub: Application for Vacating the post of your GF
not-so-Dear BF,


I am sorry to inform you that I, So and So, am leaving this Relationship and Today would be my last day as your GF. This was a difficult decision as I do not know whether the guy I am going to hook up with would be jerkier than you or not. Being your GF has been a positive experience for which I dearly thank your behavior and attitude towards life. Such as, your Positive thinking power. You think yourself as Dorian Gray which I guess tortures Oscar Wild even in his Grave and certainly no one would ever want to draw your portrait since you have a face of an Ass* [Elizabethan word for "donkey"] which I guess must have given Shakespeare the idea of Puck turning Bottom's head into a Donkey's in "Mid Summer Night's Dream".


I admire your perseverance.  You love your reflection so much that absence of mirrors can not subdue your spirit. So You keep looking at TV (when its not turned on), rear view mirror (while driving), back of the spoon, laptop screen, mobile screen, wrist-watch dial and sometimes even at my specs(which at first I thought was romantic because I thought you were looking into my eyes).


I enjoyed our frequent visits to hair salons where you used to take me to show how important it is for a guy to have a nice hair wash, manicure, pedicure and other beauty treatments. 


 That is how I have learnt a great deal from you, however, "tolerance" enhancement opportunities have led me to accept a position of the GF of another guy. This final decision was reached only after thorough consideration and some expensive gifts and a Candle light dinner provided by my new BF.


In order to lessen the impact of my departure I have taken the decision of taking all the gifts I have given to you along with me(one iPod, Three T-shirts, One shirt, One watch). This might end up as a cost effective idea (as he is almost your size) and I am keeping all the things you ever gave me as a token of your appreciation).


I wish you continue to be a Loser. Feel free to contact me after I leave if I can be of any more pain.


Thanking you,


Sincerely,
SO n So
GF (EX)